Optimistic Theatre Geek

dork, optimist, theatre geek

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So I know that I never post on here and I’m sorry. I just need a vent a little.

So:

  • You’re supportive
  • You’re lovely
  • You sing like a dream
  • You tell me positive things about myself
  • Your smile is beautiful

What’s the problem?

You won’t like me like that because you like boys, and not girls. I really just adore you, I don’t like have a crush on you or anything but I would so date you if you liked me (which you won’t because you are a boy who likes boys) so uh. 

#Anotherchapterinthehistoryofwrongguys

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This year has not be the easiest to say the least. I am proud of myself and the things I’m accomplishing. I keep reminding myself that is it to be who I am and I’m good enough. My show is in 2 weeks and I’m exhausting myself. It is to take care of myself like I need to and breathe. 

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Today 4 years ago marks a very special place in my heart. I remember it just like it was yesterday. I felt ugly, and worthless. Then, I was at a place where I wasn’t supposed to be and it was like heaven’s opened up. I listened to Queen’s Somebody To Love forever, and hoping I would finally found somebody and I did. From that day on, it was a journey to make myself better. The person who told me I could do anything and I was good enough and I was worthy. Without him, I wouldn’t know what I’d be doing right now. It’s so crazy to think that he’s not here anymore with me everyday. I can not even fathom the words for how thankful I am for him. I wouldn’t be lying if I didn’t say I missed him so much, but I owe him so much.

“It felt like the world fell from my feet, gave up on myself, he didn’t give up on me, let myself go, you were still there, like coming home, coming up for air.”

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Junior year is so hard. Between SATs, Drivers Ed and regular work, it’s a hot mess. Not to mention, I’m retaking the Geometry regents for the 3rd time. It’s so just stressful. On top of that, I’m doing our school’s production of Legally Blonde. Then, all the other things I do. My mom also said we have to start doing college stuff. Stress!!!! 

But 2013 is so far a great year =]

Filed under junior year

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Ok, so I’ve liked to talk about a little thing called love. Yes, I have been in love for those of you are asking. Not going to get into the details though. Last night I was texting one of my best friends and she said: “Your path’s are not gonna cross again though.” How do you know?! Fate brought us together. People that have never been in love shouldn’t talk ok? Practice what ya preach. That is all.  

Filed under practice what you preach love

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Little Letters

1) Thank you for “saving me.” Your words will always be with me. Thank you for making me feel worthy of love no matter how long it’s been. I love you endlessey.

2) I don’t know what to think of us anymore. We were best friends and I have no clue what I did wrong and I got kicked out of your life. We used to hang out all the time and you used to tell me great things. I just hope that you’re ok.

3) You’ll get through this. This is scary for us, but you can do it.

4) Sometimes I don’t know how you put up with me. But you do, I am honored.

5) I want to be you when I grow up. 

6) Thank you for always realizing when I am upset when no one else does. Sometimes I feel like you care about me more than half of my friends. 

7) You’ve changed so much. I love you but in all seriousness, I have not a clue who you are anymore. I still look up to you though.

8) I always thought you were beautiful. I was always jealous of you. Now most of the time, I am happy I am my own person.